it's the small things

I've been in a funk lately and just cannot seem to find my big girl panties.  I really lost them this time.  I'm feeling inadequate, under appreciated, homesick, lost and confused.  Every day I'm trying to remind myself that it is the little things that make my life exciting.  Like Izzy's first swimming lesson.  The way her face lite up as we enter the pool area.  The way she jumped off the pool stairs into her daddy's arms.  She knew she was safe.  They way her little body shivered and her lips turned blue once she had to get out of the pool.  Then the crying fit because she did not want to leave the water.  30 minutes of swimming was just not enough for our sweet girl. But best of all, the smiles from both Izzy and Chris as they shared a special moment where mommy was not hovering and they could play as they wanted.  I was a little lost at this moment because I wasn't in control.  I wasn't in the water hanging on to the back of her swimsuit just waiting for her to drown.  Daddy was there and we all know daddy do things differently.  Daddy wasn't being over protective but was still within arms reach, just in case, to let her explore the water on her own.  I say I'm laid back but, secretly, I'm high strung.  I knew she was fine and it was the little thing of seeing them both smile as if they were getting away with something right in front of me that made be sit back and relax and watch the swimming show.

Then there is the sun.  Ever since we've moved to Monterey it has been cold.  All. The. Time.  I'm going crazy.  My legs are so pasty white that people are going to think I'm the Virgin Mary when I put on my swimsuit this summer.  Well I found a spot in our house where I can get warm.  Just like a dog I curl up on the rug in front of our back sliding glass door windows.  The sun shines through there all morning long.  While my daughter reeks havoc all over our living room, I lay there and thank God I can feel my feet at least once today.  

Then there is the little thing of making sugar cookies even tastier!!  Adding frosting and sprinkles to make a cookie icing sandwich which will give you a sugar high for days.  Also having a little table and chairs that I can try and squeeze at least one butt cheek into to be with Izzy while she "attempts" to help me frost the cookie sandwiches.  In fact, Izzy did not frost any.  She ate the cookie, licked icing off her knife, and stuck her sticky fist into the sprinkles to eat them off her hands.  Please note, these are Easter cookies.  Don't judge, it's still April.  I totally forgot they have been in our fridge for at least a few weeks.  There were in a sealed package and still good.  Izzy just thinks they're bunnies not the Easter bunny.  Shhhhh, don't tell her because as well all know, Easter is not my holiday.

Then there is this.......  remember my friend Amanda?  The one who got me hooked on the Twilight saga?  Yeah, well I devoured that book in only 9 days!!  I'm in love and right now I'm with Team Edward.  The book brought back so many feelings of that first love you had in high school.  You can remember the way they smelled, the anxiety of holding their hand and, of course, the first kiss.  How romantic.  So anyway... I plow through Twilight and I finish Tuesday night of this week.  Thank goodness I am meeting up with Amanda on Wednesday so I can promptly get the second book and thrust myself back into the fantasy.  Well I got more then the second book... I got a look into the obsession this saga had become.  I got a look at THE BOX!!  So we are talking, not really about anything important and then Amanda brings out this beautiful box.  The design on it is an elaborate green paisley pattern with a cream color ribbon at it's closure.  Ohhhh!!  I thought she was going to show me some heirloom baby clothes or maybe a collection of old pictures or some keepsakes she had as a child.  (Not really sure why I was thinking that because we've never discuss anything like that).

Then.... she opens THE BOX.... and inside.... was not just all the books to the Twilight saga but all the movies, books on the directors cut for EACH movie and a collectable tin with Twilight themed journals inside (not written in either).  This was way better then heirloom baby clothes!! This one little thing made me gitty!  I squealed and could not wait to share this box with the rest of you.  So the story gets better.  Her husband makes her hide the box.  She once tried to display the box next to her rocking chair but her husband knew if anyone was ever curious and looked inside.... well they might laugh or leave.  Her husband is a man of few words but this one box made him vocalize his opinion.  So where does this box reside.... in a closet.  Fortunately, I know where the closet it is now and if I need a pick me up I will sneak to that closet and have a moment alone with all that sweet Twilight swagger. 

So here is to the little things that make your life exciting or at least give you a pick me up.  I know I am blessed but I'm still searching for my big girl panties.  I will definitely let you know when I find them. 

not our holiday

So I've learned that Easter is just not our holiday.... last Easter I made Izzy and Chris hunt for their Easter baskets A WEEK EARLY because I couldn't remember which Sunday it was.  After digging through their candy and playing with the new toys, I thought.... "this Easter is on my dad's birthday but today is not April 4th".... Duh!

Then there is this Easter.  I got the date right.  The Easter basket was all set up for Izzy to find it in the morning.  She makes her way down the stairs in her cute little pink polka dot pajamas to find her basket overflowing with goodies.  She carefully examines each item in the basket until she finds what she has been longing for... cadberry cream eggs (minis).  Of course, we let her have one for breakfast.  Then she locates the York Peppermint Paddies.  Of course, she has one of those too.  While she is chomping away and chocolate is running down her chin onto her beautiful pajamas as she plays with her sidewalk chalk, mess free crayola markers, her movie Tangled, and lots of Easter stickers.  And just like any other day I am taking photos of her every move.  I've taken some beautiful photos and wouldn't you guess.... I accidentally erased all of them from my camera!!!  Easter is definitely not our forte!

All is well though... we had a great day.  We attended church with our friends Amanda and Josh and of course, Miss Edi.  After church we grilled out hamburgers for lunch!!  We were stuffed after we engorged ourselves with some awesome banana cream pudding..  The 15 minute ride home made me lazy.  As soon as I put Izzy down for a nap my bed reached out and grabbed me.  Three hours later I woke up and it was time to eat..... again!!  We grilled out pork chops with our neighbors, Steve and Camille and superhero Ella.  Dinner was delicious and so was the wine! After saying our goodbyes we made our way to Marina beach to watch the sunset.  I have pictures of that.  :)  It was a great day!!

 It really is a tough life but someone has to lead it. 

 This is why half the beach is in the bottom of my car after each beach trip.

Whether you celebrate Easter or not, I hope everyone had as awesome of a Sunday as my little family did.

i'm in love

 I'm in love with my daughter and the fact that she is so smart and she is not even two yet.  I'm in love with her facial expressions, the way she shakes her hips when she dances, the way she holds her spoon in one hand while shoving fist fulls of food from the other into her mouth, the way she asks where daddy and Ella are in the morning, the way Teddy comforts her, the way she smells, the pronounces words, the way she pumps her arms when she is in a full run, the way she puts on her own shoes and so many other things that melt my heart everyday.

I'm in love with her other little friend, Edith.  Izzy is kind and gentle with Miss Edi.  She shares, most of the time, with her and lets Edi chase after.  I say it so much but the could be sisters.  

 I'm also in love with these pink camo rain boots. 

I'm in love again with every holiday now.  It's all new for Izzy which brings all the magic back into things like Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny. 

And then I am in love with this..... our best friends from San Diego.  The Jewell family are the closest friends we made while stationed in San Diego.  Izzy grew up loving Daylan and Dustin (as well as Mama Dous and Devan).  Daylan and Dustin always treated her like she was one of their family.  The little sister they never had.  While the boys might antagonize each other, each one is treats Izzy with love and respect.  Unfortunately, we had to move which brought many tears (for me) and lots of heartache for leaving our second family.  We've been missing the Jewell family for over four months (which seems like a lifetime when you are without your bff) but then there was a miracle.  Devan got orders to come to NPS in June!!!  So, the Jewell family came for a visit to do a little house hunting.  The moment they walked in our door Izzy knew exactly who they were.  Her face just lite up seeing the two boys and knowing her "brothers" were back!!  The boys are much taller now but they both are still full of so much love to give to Izzy.  After hugging and kissing our family good-bye, tears of joy and relief that we would be seeing them again real soon rushed over my body.  I never really knew how much I missed them until we got to see and play with them again.  June cannot come fast enough for our families!!!