preschool

Today I sit here alone.  I roam the house as if I've never seen this floor plan before.  I don't know what to do with myself.  I've already cleaned the living room and the playroom.  The kitchen still needs to be clean, but lets face it, I would rather walk around this empty house then clean a kitchen any day.  I look in the mirror and I feel guilty.  Am I asking myself, did I make the right choice?

Izzy started her first day of preschool today.  She will go from 8-3 which includes a nap.  I'm nervous.  I sent her to daycare once before, only for a couple of hours, but it never lasted.  I could not stand the screaming and crying as I had to walk away from my baby.  Today was no different.  Izzy stood close to Chris and I as she cautiously explored her new school.  We were never out of arms reach and she never let us out of her sight.  As Chris and I slipped out the front door I had tears rolling down my face listening to Izzy scream for us from the classroom.

My head is telling me to just go get her.  Go rescue her.  My heart is telling me that this is good.  Right now my head is louder.  It is a struggle right now to stay in my quiet home and surrender to this moment.  Is it 3 o'clock yet?

So between paragraphs I checked my email.  I can't let that little red number 1 go unnoticed as I cry my way through this post.  I'm glad I did because it was and email from my sister...... and it is just what I needed to make me smile. She writes.....

             "Dude, you made one good looking kid... I think she gets it from her aunt ;) proud of you for  
             letting her go to preschool! she'll get into a routine and it won't be as bad. I love all my years
             at dale sykes [her old daycare] and i'm NOT preggers nor in jail yet so I think it is a
             good thing!

                Love ya'll!
                Emily"

::
One of my favorite photographers is part of a 12 month project called "What ______ Looks Like".  For 12 months you will fill in the blank with a different word and "capture your family in a real and beautiful way." 

So today I am filling in the blank......  "What Letting Go Looks Like"......